Cheetah

The Cheetah. Is it ironic that on releasing the fastest land animal on earth, I am in fact late with putting it up on the site? Hmmmm. The beef that people seem to have with Alanis Morisette has really messed with my ability to tell what is and isn’t ironic. Maybe THAT’S ironic? Irony aside, Cheetah’s are… now, I want to say sexy? Really Tom? There might be some confusing early childhood Thundercat memories surfacing here. Let’s go with awesome. Cheetahs are awesome. Yeah, better. Back on safe ground. They can generate four times the power output of Usain Bolt and more lateral acceleration than a motorbike. I‘m not entirely sure I know what that means, other than to say that they are VERY NIPPY. They can hit 60 mph in 3 seconds, but normally they keep it around 30mph and use their insane maneuverability to catch their prey. They’re the only big cat that can change its body position in mid air thanks to their tail which helps them steer. It’s a myth that they overheat when running but after catching prey, they need to catch their breath for half an hour before eating. Cheetah cubs are almost offensively cute, but it’s been estimated that something like 95% of them don’t make it to one year old. Perhaps because they can’t roar? Come on guys, how hard is roaring?